There is a moment that defines our courage…This is the moment that we all have had at least once, and we all dread the inevitablel re-occurance…. Old, young, male, female, it is one of the worst feelings you will ever experience. As if you are on the brink of a bottomless pit, falling helplessly, teetering….your physical fitness gets tested to the max, because every ounce of your being is tensed up…..every bodily muscle taut….straining, as if to keep your body from falling into a flaming abyss…..you can only hope you are dreaming….

Someone left the stupid toilet seat up….. son of a…your calves tighten up so hard you almost cramp up, if you have a bad back you are basically doomed, the veins and muscles in your neck are on the verge of snapping at this point…. there is nothing to grab, no safe haven, if only the toilet paper was made out of rope…. your futile attempts to grab a hand out of the air are in vain….no, no, it is all up to your stomach muscles now…..to tighten up and somehow, someway, keep the skin of your ultra white (or otherwise) parts from touching the awefullness that is the icy-cold porcelain ring of humility. This moment seems to last a lifetime….Your entire day passes before your eyes as you keep falling…..it was going so good, breakfast was delightful, the kids were cheery, the coffee was hot an felt so good going down….and yet you continue on your decent….a hand thrown back to catch yourself might end tragically…desparately your mind grasps for answers!! “Why me, Why?” “What Have I done to deserve this fate?” “How can I possibly face my friends now!” “What if the ring is too big and I hit the chilly water!” …but its too late! ….the cold ring stings like a frozen knife as it sends ice-cicle like chills through your nether regions and puckers places that shouldn’t be puckered at this moment, and you can only think, “How can a plastic seat feel so much better than the porcelain ring of death?”

It is over as quickly as it began, you can still feel the iciness of the ring, even though you sprang up and turned viciously to accuse your would be attacker, yet somehow you feel foolish for letting the ring defeat you…. somehow you feel less human at this point, humility sets in as you slowly set the seat in its proper place and reflect on your life, grateful that there is no way anyone could have seen this debacle. Now seated and warm, the world seems right once again, though the icy ring leaves its cold mark for the next few hours, reminding you that even in the stillness of this room, one must always be wary and on-guard.